April Fools! Counting Down the Top 10 TV Morons

April Fools Day is a day to play practical jokes, and in doing so, a way to celebrate folks that are dim-witted enough to fall for them. But let's face it: you can only watch a your office-mates return a call to Mr. Behr from the zoo so many times before it stops being funny.
So to further celebrate this fine, upcoming holiday of lugheads and laughter, I compiled a list of my Top 10 TV Fools.


10. Molly Malaney, The Bachelor
Honestly, the whole situation that transpired with Jason on the After the Final Rose almost seemed like a bad April Fools' prank. Sadly, it wasn't, and when Molly took him back, she seemed desperate and prideless. Geez, at least pretend you're upset to be second fiddle.

Quote: "This is something I dreamt of, but never expected to hear. ... I'd be lying if I said I was glad this wasn't happening right now."

9. Flavor Flav, Flavor of Love
On two installments of this reality show, an aesthetically-challenged, 50-year-old rapper with a penchant for wearing over-sized clock necklaces, pimp suits and Viking horns searched for true love with "ladies" in their 20s. Frankly, Flavor Flav is the class clown that never grew up.

Quote: "Yeaaaaah Boyyeeeee!"

8. Woody Boyd, Cheers
As a bartender at Cheers, it's a miracle that bumbling Boyd (Woody Harrelson) could even remember how to make a proper cocktail when simple small talk sailed far above his head. Even with his foolishness, though, he still married the daughter of a millionaire and went on to become a politician. Not that you need smarts to do that.

Quote: Sam Malone to Woody: "You know what, Woody? You just gave me something to think about." Woody: "I'm sorry Sam. I hate it when someone does that to me."

7. Michael Scott, The Office

In the world of incompetent, politically incorrect, time-wasting bosses, Scott (Steve Carell) reigns supreme. After numerous run-ins with his supervisors and his lack of leadership skills, we can't believe this idiot still has a job.

Quote: "I guess the atmosphere that I've tried to create here is that I'm a friend first, and a boss second, and probably an entertainer third."

6. Joey Tribbiani, Friends

Tribbiani (Matt LeBlanc) sleeps with a stuffed penguin named Hugsy, considers eating 15 Oreos at once as a crowning achievement and starred in a Japanese TV commercial for men's lipstick. Case closed.

Quote (on living alone):"I thought it'd be great, you know? Have some time alone with my thoughts. Turns out, I don't really have as many thoughts as you'd think."

5. Rose Nylund, The Golden Girls
With her meandering, pointless tales of life in St. Olaf, Minnesota, and her complete oblivion to everything around her, Nylund (Betty White) is incredibly endearing and entertaining. But smart? Not by a long shot.

Quote: "You know what they say: You can lead a herring to the water, but you have to walk really fast or he'll die."

4. Peter Griffin, Family Guy
Well, for starters, Peter's baby, Stewie, and dog, Brian, are both a million times smarter than him. Besides being obese and a heavy drinker, he's also a purveyor of grotesque bodily functions, loves Pauly Shore movies and treats his daughter Meg like a pariah.

Quote: "I'm going to microwave a bagel and have sex with it. "

3. Chrissy Snow, Three's Company
Snow is the textbook definition of a dumb blonde, all the way down to her uncontrollable snorts during laughter. But she's got another loveable side: She makes astute observations from time to time –- but without knowing she's doing it, of course.

Quote: "This breakfast is good enough to eat!"

2. George Costanza, Seinfeld
Costanza lived at home with his parents, was chronically unemployed, and his most successful day was when he did the opposite of all his instincts. But the icing on the cake: When he flew all the way to Akron, Ohio, to insult a guy who'd demeaned him at a meeting, and ended up being the butt of the joke. Again. Constanza is the real jerk store here.

Quote: "My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter, I was raised to give up. It's one of the few things I do well."

1. Beavis/Butthead, Beavis & Butt-head

Without a doubt, these two are the biggest morons to ever hit TV. Their conversations are made up of banal music commentary and bathroom humor, interspersed with their signature laugh, "heh-heh-heh."

Quotes: Beavis: "My name is Cornholio. I need T.P. for my bunghole." Butt-head: "This sucks more than anything has ever sucked before."