I woke up in a really good mood today. I got to sleep in, the house was totally clean, I received all my new nursery stuff yesterday, and my mom sent a gift card to buy our new crib. (Thanks, mom!)
So I headed over to Target with my gift card and a big smile. While I was there, I saw the cutest little baby outfits on sale for $5, so I grabbed a couple. It just kept getting better.
I got up front and paid for my stuff, and then had to wait while they brought the crib from the stockroom so I chatted a bit with the teenaged girl at the register.
She said she loved baby clothes, and proceeded to tell me that she had a newborn daughter and a 3-year-old son. Of course, I congratulated her on her newborn and she talked a little more about her kids.
There was a pause, and then she said to me, "So are these things a gift for your new grandchild?"
And at that moment, I had my first bout with pregnancy-induced rage. There was no gradual stewing that happened... I went from cheerful to GO FUCK YOURSELF in .5 seconds. I think I have only ever been that pissed off/hurt three or four times in my life, and they all were results of too much alcohol consumption.
Maybe to her young ass, I looked like an old hag. Or maybe in her redneck yokel family, everyone is a grandmother by their mid-30s. But neither of those things changed the fact that I wanted to CLIMB OVER THE COUNTER AND CRUSH IN HER FUCKING SKULL.
But in my pregnant state, I was not agile enough to reach over and JAM THE HANGERS FROM THE BABY OUTFITS INTO HER WHORISH EYE SOCKETS.
I know, I'm not 25 anymore, but a grandmother??????
So I just replied, "No. And I think I'll wait over here."
See? I'm already a good mother. Holding my temper means that Nicholas will not be born in jail. But I better not see that girl later this summer...
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11 comments:
Wow. Did you think of pointing to your belly and saying: "I know you have kids, but you probably never had sex ed. THIS is where babies come from. I'm having one. Why would I be buying baby clothes for anyone else when I am pregnant, you stupid fuck?"
Or something like that. I feel your pain. And that idiot is lucky I wasn't around. I am agile enough to go apeshit on anyone who messes with my girls. - Danielle
Hahaha. I had many replies in my head, but I think I was too stunned to get them out. I was standing behind the tall part of the counter, where you write checks, so I'm not sure that she saw I was pregnant.
Either that, or she just thought I was a big fatass, which adds a whole other level of depression to the situation. So I'm choosing not to think about that possiblity too much. :)
OMG I am dying!!!!
You showed more restraint that I would have. Shiteous.
I yelled WHAT!? so loudly when I was reading this that Edd came in here to see if I was okay. That girl is a freaking idiot (and yes she probably comes from a family where people are grandparents by age 30). I'm so proud of you for restraining yourself, although Nick would have instant street cred being born in prison.
That teenaged Target checker is a twit! But, isn't she fortunate...because by her stupid, unobservant calculations her Great, Great, Great, Great Grandmother is probably still alive.
Yesterday at Target I saw this middle-aged woman pushing her shopping cart dressed in what looked like a red blanket. It looked like she had little red tents on her arms. What the ???
As I walked past her, I kinda gasped as I realized it was one of those "Snuggies." Shopping in a Snuggie? Only in Spokane. And, probably a distant relative of that twit in Louisville.
Mom
Um, when I was pregnant I had a few moments of being completely irrational for no reason. I think you had PLENTY of reasons to go off! Good for you. And yes if she's seen people as hot and young as you are being grandmothers she must be a hillbilly. And did she not notice your pregnant belly? Did she think you were giving birth to your grandchild? Idiot. The youth of our country...makes ya' feel all warm and tingly doesn't it?
And you better get used to the flip flops. Just ask Angie about her Fred Flinstone feet when she was pregnant. Even under her eye lids and lips were swollen! It was bad!
OK, darlin', you are beautiful and do not take this personally because that girl is obviously the Stupidest Person in the World.
Take comfort in knowing her career will not likely advance further than Target cashier. Not that there's anything wrong with being a Target cashier, but it's not exactly a lofty goal.
Hopefully, when you walked off, she saw that you were pregnant and felt like a total tool.
Also, she'll probably be a grandmother before she's 30.
You guys are the best. I knew you'd understand. :)
Several hours later, I'm now able to laugh about it. What a dummy.
(Javacia, my anger started to turn to laughter with this: "...Nick would have instant street cred being born in prison." You rule.)
I'm feeling your pain sweetie. All my nieces and nephews thought I was having issues conceiving because each of my sisters had 4 kids before I had one. My brother is young enough to be my son and my mom, grandmother and great grandmother were all grandmas at the age of 36. I am the black sheep....or, to my family, the one that got a job before she got knocked up :) No doubt her children will follow in her footsteps-and thank god-cuz I love Target and someones got to work there.
she's a teenager who works at target and has two kids... she's already in jail.
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