Lists instead of booze. Let's give it a whirl.

You know, it's hard to stay upbeat and motivated when "one of those days" turns into "one of those weeks." And then months. I'm turning into Debbie Downer and I'm only 2 months into this year.

So in an attempt to pull out of the soul-sucking funk -- at least for tonight -- I'm making a list of things that make me happy. (I'd rather drink, but frankly, I don't need the calories or the hangover.)


1. My husband. After almost 8 years of being a couple, our relationship just keeps getting better. (Too bad he's in Bloomington for work tonight.)

2. My mom. No matter how shitty my days are, she suffers the effects of a traumatic brain injury every, single day. I have no right to complain.

3. Watching Lucy and Archie play tug-of-war and keep away with a rope toy. At least someone is having fun. And related to this, it warms my heart to see Archie's stumpy little tail wag back and forth in a perfectly even line. It looks like a windshield wiper.

4. Friends. I have great friends in Louisville. But last night I spent four hours on the phone with two of my closest friends from home, Wendy and Lisa. It's a nice reality check to talk to people who have known you for 15 years.

5. The Las Vegas trip that fell into my lap. Totally random, but I'm meeting my friend Beth in Vegas in a month. I need something to look forward to right now.

6. My house. It feels good just to say it. MY house. Not a house I'm renting from someone else. Mine, mine, mine!

7. My shoes. I know it's superficial, but shoes always make me feel pretty, even when I don't like the way my clothes are fitting.

8. My determination. Speaking of ill-fitting clothes, they are looking better lately. I've lost 11.5 pounds in six weeks. Probably could have lost a few more, but I had a shitty time last week and splurged on a couple of bottles of wine. And some Girl Scout cookies. But I'm back on the wagon again -- and I'm so fucking tired of baby carrots.

9. Having a sense of humor. If not for that, I'd probably be in a loony bin. Which is where I feel like I belong some days.

Huh. I was shooting for 10 things, but that's all I can really come up with for now -- and that last one was a stretch. I guess it's better than nothing.

Bargains make me quiver with joy

Summary haiku:
Saving money when
your tax refund just arrived
doubles the delight.



So, the house. Still working on it. We've gotten the Things We Couldn't Live Without (lamps, shower curtains, wooden blinds in a couple of rooms, etc.), and we're now working the list of Things That Would Make Life More Convenient. Which brings me to one of the most joyous shopping trips I've had in a while.

I went into Target looking for wall shelves where I could display a couple of plants and a totally cute Vietnamese art sculpture I got at Pier 1. (The latter was on my list of Things I Don't Fucking Need, But They're Really Cute So I'm Buying Them.)

I saw several shelves, but they weren't quite what I wanted. Then I came to the endcap, and lo and behold, the perfect shelves were on clearance for $4.98 each -- marked down from $24.98! I bought all the ones they had left (5), because I like to keep the surfaces in my house uncluttered and I have tons of unused wall space in various rooms.

Money saved: $100.

Then I was just cruising around, as one tends to do at Target, when I came to the bathroom aisle. We don't have any towel racks in our bathrooms, so we've just been slinging towels over the shower curtain rod to dry. Which hides how cute the shower curtains are. And Target had these really beautiful brushed nickel double towel bars on sale for $12.98, also marked down from $24.98. I got one for each bathroom.

Money saved: $24.

Next up: A giant mirror to hang on one of our ginormous dining room walls. I had been eyeballing it on my last couple of Target jaunts. It's lovely, with a carved frame that's a muted, distressed gold color. $19.98, marked down from $90. Are you kidding me? Is today fucking Christmas?

Money saved: $70.

Can you believe there's more? The last thing is from the Things I Don't Fucking Need, But They're Really Cute So I'm Buying Them category. I got a fabulous, huge wall hanging for the bedroom. It's electric green silk with an olive green tree painted on it. It's simple and beautiful, but most important, it makes me feel really happy when I look at it. $14.99, marked down from $29.99.

Money saved: $15.

For those of you who can't do math -- which includes me, I had to use a calculator to do this -- I got $285 worth of items for $85. Which left me plenty of dough to pick up a green patent clutch and some canary yellow tights to wear under a couple of my spring dresses.

I am bursting with happiness. I'm off to hang one of my shelves!

I'm going crazy -- want a lift?

Summary haiku:
Time flies when life is
busy. Wine helps, but Vegas
trip is what I need.

Happy Valentine's Day!

After a delicious, candlelit Italian meal (sorry, diet!) at our new dining room table, Kyle and I are having the most romantic evening. He is watching a basketball game with Miles (the cat) curled in the nook of his leg. I'm messing around on the computer, Lucy's head resting on my thigh and Archie's head nuzzled against my neck (he's on the back of the couch cushion).

But after our tummies retract a little bit, me and the hubbster will actually probably snuggle each other and watch a movie or something. Because honestly, red wine makes me want to cuddle someone without fur. (Side note: Covey Run wine from Washington state... try it.)

Anyway. It's been a really hellish three weeks (with the exception of last weekend, which included a visit from Danielle and Javacia's birthday). You don't care about the details. Hell, I'd just as soon forget them myself. But suffice it to say that I've felt like a monkey with its hair on fire for weeks.

But here's the good news: Out of nowhere, I get this email from one of my favorite girlfriends of all time, Beth. I can't say enough about how much I love this woman. Anyway, the email said she was going to Las Vegas for a work trip, the hotel room is already paid for, and did I want to meet her there and play for a few days?


Hellz to the yeah.

This is exactly what I needed, and it could not have come with better timing. The trip isn't for another month, but that's perfect because it gives me some time to reclaim my sanity and, perhaps, lose some more poundage before I go someplace warm, where I will not be wearing 50 layers of clothing.

(Fattie update: I've lost 11 pounds now. Probably could have lost more if it were not for aforementioned fun weekend filled with girlfriends, non-Weight Watchers dinners and lots of alcohol. What can I say? Stress made me relapse for a few days. Still, all of my pants are too big, which is fun, but also annoying.)

Only been to Las Vegas once, for my bachelorette party in 2005, which is also the last time I've seen Beth. See how fun (and sober) she is?



So I'm looking forward to exploring a little more and doing some shopping. According to our tax guy, our income tax refunds should drop into the account tomorrow. Maybe things are finally turning around. I'm ready for the crazy train to pull into the station, man.

Oh, and my Chia Pet? It's going apeshit!

Night, lovebirds...

Financially irresponsible people are ruining my quiet time

So, I've been talking about the fact that we moved for weeks. We're in. But with a new house in a new neighborhood also came a new phone number. And it appears that whoever previously had this number never paid a bill in their lives.

During the past three weeks, we have gotten millions of phone calls from a variety of collection agencies looking for the previous owner of this phone number. We answer and say, "We don't know those people. We just got this number. We are a different family." Then that one stops calling.

But the next day, another agency calls. And another. Damn, how many bills did these motherfuckers have? And some of the calls don't even have a real, live person to talk to -- it's just a recording. So I can't even tell them we're not the right people. And they keep calling -- sometimes the same agency calls four times a day, clogging up all our voice mail.

It's driving me out of my fucking mind! If I meet these financial delinquents somehow by chance -- and believe me, I know their names WELL by now -- I'm going to tell them to eat a fat dick and quit signing up for credit cards if they can't even pay the electric bills.

I can't even enjoy a quiet glass of wine without being interrupted every 15 minutes.

If you read this far, thanks for listening. I'm a little tipsy right now (OK, maybe a lot tipsy) and these fuckheads are messing up my relaxing flow.

Patience is a virtue

Summary haiku:

I guess my Chia
is a slow bloomer. But she's
alive, green and well!




I kept watering her, and about two days ago, a lone sprout was poking out of her back. Every couple of hours, I'd go back and there were more. Now, she's going wild! I guess I better give her a name now.... any ideas?