Monday, March 24, 2008

Viva Las Vegas!

Let me begin with a small gripe.

Elvis Presley's "Viva Las Vegas" used to make me feel energized and ready to drink and gamble. But since they started using it in the Viagra commercial ("Vivaaaaa Viagra!") it makes me feel icky and gross inside.

In case you haven't seen the ad, a bunch of old farts are at a hootenanny playing their musical instruments. They warble a verse of the song, replace "Las Vegas" with "Viagra," then they all high-five each other and scatter in different directions, presumably to put their four-hour boners to good use.

Now, every time I think of Sin City, I hear that fucking commercial in my head. Thanks, Viagra. You shouldn't have.

Anyway. So, last week I met two girlfriends (Beth, a photographer from Maine, and Wendy, my bestie, a massage therapist from Washington) in Vegas for a totally impromptu, last-minute trip. Long story short: It was a freakin' blast, like Vegas always is.



But the first day/night was like an episode of the Twilight Zone, for real.

We went to our hotel room, opened the door, and found four 50- or 60-somethings -- three women, one man -- partying in our room.

An army of empty beer bottles were strewn about, and we were like, "Oh sorry! They must have made a mistake at the front desk."

"Nah, nah, nah -- come on in," yelled one of the semi-drunk women. "We'll explain what happened."

We're thinking, "no, that's cool. We'll just go have them switch our room." But they insisted, and we were curious. They said they had asked for a non-smoking room but the hotel put them in a smoking room (ours). When they called the front desk, there weren't any non-smoking rooms available, so the hotel apparently told them to hang out in ours until they had one cleaned.

So these people stayed in the room all day, showered, used all the bathroom stuff. "But we didn't sleep in the beds," they said, "so you could just call for some more towels."

Um, I think we'll also have them clean the bathroom as well.

Then they wouldn't leave! They were all drunk and chatty, and we were all travel-tired and just wanted to chill for a few. One lady starts pulling stuff out of her shopping bag to show to us (souvenirs and whatnot). The man was like, "Heh heh. I'm in a room with SIX beautiful women now!"

Vivaaaaa Viagra!

This was all within the first hour. Beth took a picture of them because the whole thing was so bizarre, so when she emails it to me, I will add it to this post.


Tales to be continued...
Method Man has a guest spot on Law & Order and I must watch. I wuv him!

Tomorrow's story: "It's not St. Patrick's Day! What are you talking about?"

If all healthy food tasted this good, I'd weigh 90 pounds

So, I was looking for recipes on the Weight Watchers website and came across this awesome dish, which is the Raddest Dish in the Universe.

Seriously. I don't even like to cook. Actually, I hate it. Really hate it. But when I found myself alone on Easter weekend because my hubby was covering basketball games in Birmingham, I went to the store specifically to get scallops so I could cook. For myself. Just me. I can count the amount of times this has happened on one hand.

Anyway, besides the fact that it tastes fabulous with a capital F, here are three more reasons to try it.

1. It is the easiest thing ever to make.

2. You'd be hard pressed to get something tastier in a restaurant.

3. You probably have most of the ingredients in your cupboard already.


Pan Seared Scallops with Cilantro

Ingredients:
1 pound of scallops
1 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp table salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
1 tbsp light butter, divided
1 spray cooking spray
1/4 cup water
1/2 medium jalapeno pepper, seeded and minced
2 tbsp fresh lime juice
2 tbsp cilantro, minced

Instructions:
Sprinkle both sides of scallops with chili powder, salt and black pepper.
Melt 1 1/2 teaspoons butter in a large nonstick skillet coated with cooking spray over medium-high heat. Add half of scallops; cook 3 minutes on each side or until done. Remove scallops from pan and keep warm. Repeat procedure with remaining butter and scallops.

Add water, jalapeno pepper and lime juice to pan; cook 1 minute, scraping bottom and sides of pan to loosen browned bits. Spoon sauce over scallops; sprinkle with cilantro.

Yield: 4 servings (serving size: 3 ounces scallops, two tablespoons sauce).

(If you're a Weight Watchers person, one serving of this -- about three and a half large scallops, is only TWO points.)