Happy Halloween weekend!

Summary haiku:
What happened to smart
costumes? Anyone can
do the sexy nurse.





Archie and Lucy wish you a very spooky day!









Halloween is my second favorite holiday, so it is with great sadness that I'm sitting it out this year. I had every intention of dressing up. I'd even talked Kyle into doing a couples costume -- we were to go as Dog the Bounty Hunter, and his wife, Beth.



But we procrastinated getting costumes together, and then The Dog Incident (Dog, as in Archie, our Jack Russell Terrier, not Chapman, the bounty hunter) happened. (More on that later.) That made it virtually impossible to get it together in time.

Instead I reflected on some of the fine (and not so fine) Halloween costumes I've had over the years. I wish I had pictures of them all, but memories are powerful enough to get me by.





Wonder Woman. Not the Lynda Carter bustier-plus-panties outfit, but the appropriate-for-a-six-year-old version that my grandmother made by hand. It was a fabulous white top with red trim, worn with a blue skirt covered in white stars. Of course, she also handmade awesome bullet deflecting bracelets and a headband. Grammy was an amazing seamstress.




Raspberry Tart. Another masterpiece by Grammy, except this one was an exact replica of the real thing. It was fantastic!











A school of sperm. This was an ill-fated idea we had in college. Four of us dressed up in white tights, white shoes and white garbage bags. We used another white garbage bag to cover our heads (except for the face, obviously) and we shredded more bags to create flagella, which trailed from all of our butts. We all wore a sign that said "Seminal Swim Team." But it didn't really work once we all got seperated at the party. People would see one of us and go, "What the fuck was that about?"




A Smurf. One year, my friend Michelle and I rented costumes. She was Smurfette and I was a Smurf. The costumes were head-to-toe and hot as hell. The heads were enormous and made it impossible to drink any beer, which is the point of dressing up as an adult, isn't it?

We were out with a group, and of course, ended up at different parties. Drunken chaos ensued. At Michelle's party, a crowd on the dance floor played volleyball with the Smurfette head. The next day, with a hangover, we spent some time trying to unravel her blonde dreadlocks before returning her to the costume shop. The blue tights had runs in them. Ergh.

But more importantly, that was the year we learned that heads and masks were a terrible idea.

A cavewoman. This costume was actually pretty awesome. Comfy, tough, functional. I wore camel colored, knee-length dress with a jagged bottom and animal print trim. I ratted up my hair like crazy and put white plastic bones all inside the 'do. Also, I grunted a lot and carried a plastic club. Having a prop is fun, as long as it does not impede your ability to drink, which this did not. (Somwhere, I have a picture of myself clubbing a 6'5" man dressed as a nun, but I can't find it.)



Powerpuff Girls. This is probably my favorite costume I've done as an adult. It wasn't my idea, but I went along with it when it was suggested by Danielle. We made the outfits ourselves and they turned out pretty freakin' great, I think!