The Hills Vs. The City

It was only a matter of time before we ended up comparing The City to The Hills.

After all, Whitney Port spent several years as Lauren Conrad's co-worker and friend before she branched out to New York and scored her own TV show. As a fan of Whitney (come on, she was easily the most put together cast member of The Hills), I was looking forward to her being the star of her own show. Plus, she had a job in fashion in New York. What's not to love?

As it turns out, a lot. It's just as annoying as The Hills can be, but for different reasons. Let's compare:

Love to hate characters: OK, so The Hills has Spencer Pratt, one of the biggest "reality" TV villains ever. During the first episode of The City, it seemed like Olivia was going to be an irritating, elitist witch, what with her million pairs of Manolos and fancy dinner parties. But so far, she's turned out to be sort of benign, if not boring.
She simply cannot compare to Spencer, who treats Heidi like crap, makes her mother cry and has that ridiculous, rodent-pelt growing from his face. And, we have a winner!
The Hills: 1
The City: 0

Conversation skills: On The City, all the characters manage to speak in complete sentences. Granted, their conversations might be a snoozefest, but at least they don't all break off mid-sentence.
Lauren and company are boring as well, but they also communicate as though they took a giant, mind-erasing bong hit in the middle of a thought, ie: "I can't decide if I should talk to Audrina, or ..."
So.... we'd rather talk to Whitney or Erin, thanks.
The Hills: 1
The City: 1

Crying: Between Lauren, Audrina and Stephanie, mascara tears are probably shed on nearly every episode of The Hills. Lauren gets upset when Audrina is too busy to ask her leading questions about her life. Audrina weeps over Justin Bobby. And Stephanie is generally unstable, although being related to Spencer is reason enough to cry on a regular basis.
But so far, we haven't seen Whit or her pals shed any tears. Maybe they're too busy working and/or maintaining a small shred of personal dignity. Chalk one up for The City.
Hills: 1
The City: 2

Scandals: The Hills has had several seasons to get a head start on this category. There was the infamous sex tape scandal; as well as small skirmishes, such Lauren's splintering friendships with (choose one) Heidi/Audrina/Stephanie; and former friends turned enemies, Spencer vs. Brody.
So far, the biggest scandals we've seen on The City have been Adam kissing another woman while his girl was out of town; Whitney leaving work to go look at an apartment; and Olivia's cousin getting a ticket for spitting in public.
Hey, guess what? I got a parking ticket last week, left work early on Friday and I'm pregnant! My life is officially more exciting than anyone's in The City... and I can't even drink alcohol right now.
The Hills: 2
The City: 2

I officially declare this battle a draw.

Bottom line: Is there really a victor in a contest of banal reality (cough*scripted*cough) shows? The City's cast features slightly more likeable people, so if I were forced to choose friends, it'd probably be them. But for entertainment purposes, I'd rather watch The Hills. I may say that I hate Spencer and the crying, but it sure passes the time better than watching Whitney go to non-lunches with co-workers, or seeing Olivia teeter down the street in sky-high heels.