Vampire Fetish: Bloodsuckers Are The New Bad Boy

Centuries-old legends about vampires largely paint them as super-scary killing machines that should be avoided at all costs.

But thanks to a few modern novels – which have been adapted into television shows (True Blood) and movies (Twilight) – vampires are quickly emerging as contemporary sex symbols. Forget the days when sought-after bad boys rode motorcycles, smoked cigarettes and had a couple of tattoos. Today's bad-ass, bloodsucking, boy toys can kill you on the spot – and even though you've got no chance of outrunning them, would you really want to? They are too intriguing to resist.

That's why I'm are counting down the days until I get to see Bill Compton -- the title vampire on True Blood -- again, when season two of the show begins on June 14.

Part of the thing that makes the modern-day vampire so tangible, if not loveable, is the way the legends and personas have been manipulated for the new millennium. The vampires are old souls with modern problems and ideals -- and I love the mixture.

So, I took a look at True Blood and Twilight in several categories, rating the right-now-ness of each on a scale of 1-10.

ASSIMILATION
The main vamps in each series, Bill Compton and Edward Cullen (Twilight), both make every attempt to live normal lives among humans without hurting them. However, each have their crosses to bear. In True Blood, the townspeople are aware that vampires exist, but they are met with extreme prejudice. In Twilight, Edward must hide his true self from everyone but his vampire family and girlfriend, Bella. Can you say stressful?
True Blood: 8
Twilight: 7

EATING
While Bill's hungry, he sips the synthetic drink, Tru Blood, so as not to feed on living creatures. The beverage invention seems so 2009. The Cullens, meanwhile, feed on animals in the forest instead of humans. It's great they don't kill humans, but this writer often likes animals better than people, so I'm not super impressed.
True Blood: 10
Twilight: 7

SLEEPING
Like most traditional vampires, Bill sleeps in a coffin during the daytime. Ho-hum. Edward however, doesn't require sleep. Ever. Can you imagine how much you could get done if you never got tired?
True Blood: 2
Twilight: 8

SEX
Twilight is geared toward young adults, and romance prevails over sex. Bella and Edward can scarcely make out before he pulls back to avoid his natural instinct to inhale her scent and suck her blood. Frankly, it's nice to see teenagers who aren't hopping in the sack first chance they get.
The vamps on True Blood, meanwhile, have insatiable libidos. Their graphic, lighting-speed sexual activity can be a little bit much, but at least they can have sex with humans. Let's face it: Complete, prolonged abstinence isn't easy for everyone ... and consensual sex is better than a pile of dead bodies.
True Blood: 7
Twilight: 9

TRAVEL
You'd think an unemployed being – alive or undead – would A) take public transportation; B) drive a jalopy; or C) just run everywhere, since they're gifted with the ability to move at lightning speeds. But Bill drives a black BMW, and Edward's got a shiny, silver Volvo. Even vampires want nice wheels.
True Blood: 8
Twilight: 8

BITING
In most stories, including Twilight, being bitten (but not killed) by a vampire means that you're doomed to the same immortal fate. But on True Blood, vampires can bite humans (during sex, for instance) and not be changed. Likewise, humans on the show take hits of vampire blood to get high. Creative and interesting.
True Blood: 10
Twilight: 2


CLOTHING
No cloaks with high collars here, like many vampires of olde. Bill's usually wearing button down shirts, jackets or long sleeved henley tees with pants. Edward adopts the vibe of his Pacific Northwest home, opting fo casual t-shirts and jeans to complement his messy, gelled-up hairdo. Fashionable? Meh. Inconspicuous? Totally.
True Blood: 8
Twilight: 7

GOING OUTSIDE
Bill's intolerance to daylight means that his skin melts off in a gruesome fashion. Scary! But when Edward is in the sunlight, his skin sparkles like a million diamonds. Bling!
True Blood: 4
Twilight: 10

LOVE
Despite the fact that vampires aren't human – something that Bill and Edward continually remind their partners about – both seem capable of true, unwavering, loyal love with their human girlfriends. Bill fell for telepathic, outspoken waitress Sookie Stackhouse, while Edward is smitten with Bella, a high-school student who is sometimes insecure about their relationship. Still, both relationships seem built to last despite the 100+ year age difference. We don't expect to see either couple on Divorce Court.
True Blood: 10
Twilight: 9