Friday, December 12, 2008

Hey Santa! I've got a naughty and nice list for you



With Christmas fast approaching, I know Santa Claus is awfully busy right now. So I've taken it upon myself to procrastinate my own holiday shopping and help St. Nick with his annual duties. After a satisfying year of wasting away in front of the telly, I'd like to humbly suggest a few picks for the Naughty and Nice list.

I hope the elves can whip up something extra special for these four nice TV characters:

Betty Draper, Mad Men
And by nice, we mean that she has to be somewhat void of emotions to handle her life without losing her marbles. Betty isn't a super likeable character, but up until the end of the last season, she put up endless humiliations, insults and disrespect from her womanizing (possibly-alcoholic) husband, Don. When Don practically called her a whore for buying a two-piece bathing suit at an auction, my heart broke for her. Betty has a whole lot more ‘nice' in her than we could ever muster.

Sookie Stackhouse, True Blood
Sure, Sookie made a misstep by running into Sam's arms (and toying with his emotions) when Bill disappeared for a couple of days. But telepathic Sookie has been through a lot. Between her grandmother's brutal murder, her brother's overwhelming idiocy, an attempt on her life, her best friend's anger management problems, and being shunned by her whole town, we think she's a pretty sweet woman.

Joe Dubois, Medium
This man is a saint and the backbone of this TV family, which returns to TV in January. Joe is constantly woken up by his wife in the middle of the night, he's left to deal with getting his three daughters to school and handle family business when Allison rushes off to deal with her dead-people visions. He's kind, supportive and every time we think he's finally going to get irritated, he cracks a joke -- and that awesome smile.

Turtle, Entourage
Let's face it: Of all the Entourage characters, Turtle has never had a lot going for him, particularly in the area of ladies. Finally this season, he seems to have scored big points with not just a woman, but famous actress (Jamie-Lynn Sigler). And right as Turtle is getting ready for a romantic getaway weekend with Jamie, Vince calls and requests his presence on a trip back to New York. And Turtle dropped everything to go. What a great friend.

A lump of coal would be too good a prize for any of these chumps:

Miguel Prado, Dexter
When Miguel showed up at the beginning of the most recent season, it seemed like Dexter was going to make a true friend. As it turns out, Miguel turned out to be a a lunatic sociopath with no feelings and no moral code. Jimmy Smits did a great job making this now-deceased character truly despicable.

Spencer Pratt, The Hills
The above being said, Prado is still much more likeable than Spencer, a controlling, cruel, jackass who has somehow captured the heart of Heidi Montag. This year alone, Spencer made Heidi's mother cry; mooched off of and disparaged his own sister; and has thrust a huge wedge between Heidi and her family and friends. Heidi's not blameless, but he and that creepy beard are the root of the evil. This relationship, if it's indeed real, seems like a Lifetime movie waiting to happen.

Lacey, Rock of Love Charm School
I want to like Lacey because she's an animal rights activist, but every time I watch her manipulate other women on VH1 reality shows, I wonder how a person can be so compassionate for furry things and so hateful toward her fellow woman. Every chick-fight on this show has stemmed from Lacey's evil maneuvers, and her fake, tear-filled apologies are vomit-inducing. I've seen more convincing acting in junior high theater productions.

Nancy Botwin, Weeds
When Weeds first began, I had a soft spot for Nancy and how she chose to deal with her money problems. But this season, I think I can honestly say I like everyone on the show more than Nancy, who has proven to be perhaps the worst mother in TV history. It's a sad day when layabout Uncle Andy is the most responsible adult in the picture. And now Nancy is knocked up again? Good grief.

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