Pardon the absenteeism....

This blog has been temporarily been interrupted by the extreme fatigue and dizziness caused by the final weeks of pregnancy.

But here are a few things that are on my mind. Because I know you care.

1. I've been increasingly nervous about becoming a capable mother. Then I found out that Kendra Wilkinson of The Girls Next Door fame is pregnant.
She announced the news a few days after the premiere of her new reality show, Kendra, during which she installed a stripper pole in her new house before even thinking about getting furniture or groceries.
When she finally did hit the grocery store, she exclaimed, "I love Rice-a-Roni, but I had no idea it was Mexican food!"
Suddenly, I feel slightly better about my own situation.

2. I went to a labor and delivery class at the hospital last week, which is designed to be educational and make people feel prepared. It scared the shit out of me.

3. I know soap operas are ridiculous, but there are two knocked up women on The Young & The Restless right now, and both of them claim that they can already feel their babies kicking when they're, like, two months along. Give me a fucking break.

4. Why, why, WHY am I watching I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here!???? Perhaps to see Janice Dickinson pee in the campsite and steal other people's food? Or is it to see Stephen Baldwin's awesome (read: worst I've ever seen) tattoos?
I mean, American Idol castoff Sanjaya Malakar is by far the most likeable person on the show. I'd rather have him and fellow contestant John Salley live in my guest room for a month than share a one-hour meal with any of these other assholes.

5. I am going to have fondue next week with my friend Javacia and I can't wait. I love her, and I love dipping things into melty goodness.

That is all.