Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Project Runway: Hip-hop hooray! Wait... what is hip-hop?


It's been a long time since I so thoroughly enjoyed an episode of Project Runway.


With five designers left, the challenge was a recipe for drama and disaster: They had to make outfits for each other. And to further the complications, each garment was to be inspired by a different music genre.


Also, LL Cool J -- who is starting his own clothing line -- was the guest judge. And I cannot complain about any program that provides eye candy like that.


Anyway, here's how it all shook down. Jerell would be creating a pop look for Kenley. Kenley was to make a hip-hop ensemble for Leanne. Leanne was charged with making a country outfit for Korto. Korto was assigned a punk outfit for Suede. And Suede would make a rock look for Jerell.


From there, it was pure comedy, starting with Leanne and Kenley trying to figure out what hip-hop looked like. Kenley: "What would you want to wear if you were a hip-hop artist?" Leanne: "I'll totally do all gangster." Kenley: "I think everyone is wearing high-waisted jeans right now, and it's going to be awesome." Has Kenley actually ever seen a hip-hop video?


Then Leanne busts the worst rhyme that has ever been televised in the history of the world. I was so embarrassed for her, I had to close my eyes.


Back to Kenley: "I'm going to do something really cool that looks good on her. I'm not going to make her look like a fool." Clearly, Kenley has never seen rappers Eve (who has become a bit of a style icon) or Queen Latifah, who is a freakin' Cover Girl.


Later, Kenley asks Leanne to try on her jeans and discovered the crotch was insanely baggy and ill-fitting. When Kenley grabbed the extra fabric, Leanne exclaimed: "You're grabbing my crotch Kenley!" Finally! Ladies, crotch-grabbing is totally hip-hop.


On to the runway... and in honor of LL Cool J (swoon), we've assigned one of his songs to describe each look.





"Big Ole Butt" -- Leanne

Song quote: "When I went home, I kissed my girl on the cheek/but in the back of my mind it was this big butt freak."

As a woman with some junk in her trunk, I meant this song assignment in the nicest possible way. Leanne did Korto and her ample backside proud with a figure-flattering skirt/top/belt/scarf outfit. The judges didn't think it was country enough, but it hugged her curves well.





"Why Do You Think They Call It Dope?" -- Jerell

Song quote: "You better take a chill and observe the skill/of the man who can, so understand.... damn."

Jerell's fishnet laden minidress for Kenley was bangin'. I'll just let him describe it for himself. "Kenley Spears would be rocking this at Madison Square Garden and then probably be kickin' her panties off in the back of a limosine. That's the kind of outfit I've created."





"Dear Yvette" – Kenley

Song quote: "I'm glad you ain't my sister, then again if you was/I'd have to treat you like you was my distant cuz."

Not only is Kenley a witch to everyone on the show, her badly-crafted design also revealed how completely out of touch she is with pop culture.






"It Gets No Rougher" – Suede

Song quote: "Your battleship is sinkin' in quicksand/Strappin' to the bottom like a two-ton anchor."

Suede's rock and roll pants/tank/vest outfit was OK, but lacked the accessories and edge needed to wow the judges. He got the boot.





"I'm Bad"– Korto

Song quote: "I'm the pinnacle, that means I reign supreme/I'm notorious, I'll crush you like a jellybean!"

After making perfectly-fitting metallic black jeans for Suede, Korto distressed them with bleach and paired them with a well thought out top. She topped the whole thing off with tons of chains. She's declared the winner.

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