Right around 9:57 p.m., my dog, Archie – who was perched on the couch cushion behind my head – was in the middle of a righteous yawn when he belched out loud. Even he looked startled by it. And I don’t think the timing was a coincidence. It totally summed up how I felt about Wednesday night’s episode of Project Runway, which kind of made me wish I’d finished watching the second hour of America’s Next Top Model.
But since I didn’t, here’s the low-down:
Designers were charged with creating a look for Diana Von Furstenburg’s fall collection. DVF tells the contestants she was inspired by Marlene Dietrich in the 1943 film, “A Foreign Affair” – kind of a 1930s and 1940s spy/traveler/entertainer look. The winning design will be produced and sold exclusively to American Express cardholders (shameless plug alert!).
Kenley gets verklempt at the opportunity and starts sobbing. “I love Diane Von Furstenberg. I would be happy to win this one and that’s it.” Hey, there’s no crying in fashion! Oh, wait.
All the designers but Kenley decide to make multiple pieces, as DVF’s collection was composed of ensembles with multiple layers. Kenley decided on a dress.
In the workroom, Korto again channeled Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. Even when her words seemed to convey happiness, her tone was clinically depressed. Looking at her dress, she said “I love my colors” in the same way I’d say “Someone broke into my house and stole all my shoes.”
And after a having completely first-person speak week, Suede is back to Suede’s old tricks again. Maisy wants to thrust shishkabob skewers into her ears!
On to the runway!
Joe has been very pleased with himself this challenge, but it’s hard to see why. He draped a sparkly, hoodie-shawl thing over a hideous backless Asian-inspired top, and paired them with a lopsided belt and a skirt with an uneven hem.
Leanimal, the silent fashion assassin, had another successful week with a gorgeous, detailed violet gown underneath a short gray jacket.
Terri’s pants/fireworks blouse/mohair coat combo is good enough to qualify her for the next round.
Jerell combined bronze glittery fabric with black and cobalt blue to create a three piece look. But I was distracted by his model’s Boy Scout cap, which was similar to one Jerell wore a few weeks ago, sans all the gold, dangly crap hanging from it.
Korto actually cracks a smile when her cute, full-length printed dress and jacket ensemble come down the runway. This may be the first time we’ve seen her teeth all season.
Don’t even get me started on Blayne’s foolish pants. Are they gauchos? Are they knickers? Are they short MC Hammer pants? I can tell you one thing they are: So hideous that I can’t even remember the rest of his outfit.
Suede’s updated camo print dress – which made his skinny model look totally hippy – and herringbone vest got a thumbs-down from judges.
Stella turned in double-sided a halter vest and pants suit with puckered seams, and cape that judges likened to Dracula or a magician.
Kenley’s colorful dress was pretty and tailored, but seemed too simple in comparison to everyone else’s full-on ensembles.
Later, the judges gushed over Korto’s look, and not once did she look relieved or joyful. “Thank you.” (Sounded like: “My husband just left me.”) “Thank you again.” (“The bank just foreclosed on my house.”)
But for the second week in a row, Leanne was victorious.
In the end, Joe and Stella were in the bottom two. (Cue Archie belch here.) But all the abracadabra in the world couldn’t save Stella from her cape(r) gone wrong. Poof! She’s out.
Now, fair's fair. What happened on Top Model?
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