Gay Pterodactyls Soar on Project Runway

My air conditioner konked out this morning, on a day when it was a hot and humid 96 degrees. Now, I’m sweating and frustrated and cooped up in the “man cave” in my basement because it’s cooler down here. You probably don’t care, but I bring it up to make a point.

For one hour, a quite entertaining episode of Project Runway made me postpone my plan to kidnap an air conditioner repairman from his home and family in the middle of the night to fix my problem. After a few weeks of relatively unmemorable Runway episodes, this was a refreshing change.

With former contestant Chris March as an advisor, the designers were charged with creating drag queen costumes. And for the first time since the very first grocery store challenge, the outfits were as interesting than the banter in the work room. And isn't that supposed to be the point of the show??

It’s worth noting that when March showed up, he was wearing a drag costume that was part opera singer (long, white, drapy dress), part Viking (Flavor Flav would be totally jealous of this helmet), and part Studio 54 (a halved disco ball served as bra cups).

Before we hit the runway with our special haiku critique, let’s hit a few work room highlights: Wearing one of the drag queen’s ginormous bras, Joe did a horrifying, rhythmless dance that could almost rival Elaine Benis’ on Seinfeld. I was going to rewind it in order to describe it better, but some things are best left in the past.

And when Tim Gunn came around the workroom, he stopped to comment at Blayne’s ensemble. “It looks like it’s a pterodactyl from a gay Jurassic Park.” The camera cuts to Blayne: "Tim has just given me the best compliment a person can get.” Considering the challenge, this is the first time I’ve agreed with Blayne all season.

Suede and his queen, Hedda Lettuce, have some drama over the lime green dress with matching gloves. Hey, drag isn’t the only word that goes before queen!

Daniel is “not worried about Tim’s critique.” When will these morons learn that Tim Gunn is always right?

Now, on to the runway – in haiku – where a very scary, overly-plastic-surgeried RuPaul served as guest judge.

Blayne:
Neon pink and blue;
a kite with fringe grows from the
back of this model.

Jerell:
Even with a tall, popped
collar, Jerell made drag seem
drab. Show us some leg!

Keith:
It looks like my cat
used Keith’s “dress” as a scratching
post. Still, Keith squeaks by.

Korto:
Fiery collar and
detachable skirt make a
great “woman in heat.”

Leanne:
Mel’s Diner meets Star
Trek in waitress outfit gone
wrong. Drag-tastic, though.

Suede:
Hedda Lettuce looks
more like Cabbage Patch in lime
green monstrosity.

Stella:
Underwhelming in
plaid and black, but better than
most of the others.

Terri:
Crazy kabuki dress
on seven foot queen. Truly
a lovely costume.

Kenley:
Silver sequins with
feathered collar are enough
to save her this week.

Joe:
“Ann-Margret plus Love
Boat” scores win, immunity.
Masks the man parts, too.

Daniel:
Stripper’s manicure
colors compose this cliche
cocktail dress. He’s out.

Here’s one more bonus haiku, before my brain melts out through my ear and onto this arm chair:

Maisy (that’s me!):
May be writing from
jail next week. Kidnapping
about to commence.