Big Brother

I'm watching it. I don't know why... probably because the summer TV selection sucks ass.

Honestly, though, this is probably the only reality show I could actually compete on because it doesn't require any specialized skills, such as cooking, or modeling, or sewing.

Let's face it, my current skills are not in high demand for reality programming. It's not like they have a ton of shows called "Who Wants to Write the Best Cutline About Gladiator Sandals?" or "America's Next Top Shopper."

All you have to do on Big Brother is get along with people and occasionally talk a little shit. What's so hard about that? Avoiding drama as often as possible is my specialty, but can certainly throw a verbal barb or two when provoked.

So far tonight, a whiny meathead bodybuilder and a totally obnoxious, nasally-voiced salon owner from New Orleans have been fighting because the hairdresser woke him up from his precious beauty rest. Boo hoo, pussy. Just go back to sleep! What other pressing things do you have to do?

Anyway, their competition for the night: Six of them had to wade through a ton of honey, then rip open a bunch of down pillows to find teddy bears, then wade back through the honey. Five times. Maybe I couldn't do this after all. That'd be tough to get out of your hair.

Oops! This douchebag has been trying to run shit and manipulate an nice old man, and the whole house just turned on him.

We're only two episodes in and there's more drama than usual at this early stage. Maybe this season will be worth watching, after all.

"Project Runway" starts tomorrow!