Top 15 TV Catchphrases

Sure, there are TV phrases that have been used with incredible regularity: South Park's "Oh my God, they killed Kenny!" and Cheers' "Norm!," for instance. But sometimes, the test of a classic catchphrase is whether it gets used real life. So here, I'm salute the Top 15 TV quotes that have crept their way into American vernacular over the years.

15. "The plane, the plane!," Tattoo, Fantasy Island

Oh, Tattoo. This phrase is pretty much the only memory we have of this program. But it is burned into my mind -- and TV history -- for the remainder of my life.

Idea for use: After being delayed because of weather, your best friend's plane finally arrives at the airport.

14. "How you doin'?," Joey Tribbiani, Friends

It's a common salutation that's been around since, oh, the beginning of time. But Joey Tribbiani's trademark "dumb-guy" enunciation made the phrase seem brand new. Which, subsequently, got a little bit old after hearing everyone say it during the show's heyday.

Idea for use: Anytime. It's an all-purpose greeting.

13. "I'm Rick James, bitch!," Dave Chappelle as Rick James, Chappelle's Show

For nine to 12 months after this episode of Chappelle's Show ran, this phrase was uttered mostly by 20-something men in bars, in malls and in colleges non-stop. It finally died down, but if you said it today, most people would immediately know to what you were referring.

Idea for use: Unless you are Rick James, which you are not because he's dead, there's really no reason use this phrase -- which is why I was so floored it caught on.

12. "Aaaay," Fonzie, Happy Days

A motorcycle-riding, ex-gang member, The Fonz was the cool, womanizing bad boy of this 1950s-based sitcom. His cool-guy remarks were never uttered without using the double thumbs-up sign and were absolutely huge when the show was on air.

Idea for use: Prop yourself up against your new ride, feather your hair, and then let it rip.

11. "Homey don't play that," Damon Wayans as Homey D. Clown, In Living Color

Many times, the actions that accompany a catchphrase are what make it so funny and memorable. Homey D. Clown, an ex-con who worked as a clown, entertained chidren and adults. But when something made him angry, he also violently struck out at people using the phrase, while simultaneously clipping them over the head with a tennis ball-filled sock.

Idea for use: Your sister steals the baby name you've been planning to use since you were 20. (A makeshift weapon can also be used in this instance.)

10. "Hell to the no!," Whitney Houston, Being Bobby Brown

Made popular by Houston before she got smart enough to dump Brown for good, this phrase was so much better and definitive than the standard "hell no." It's become a standard way to express disbelief.

Idea for use: A friend asks if you'd like to attend a Celine Dion concert.

9. "Let's hug it out, bitch," Ari Gold, Entourage

Approximately 30 seconds after slimy agent Ari Gold uttered this phrase on Entourage, we estimate that at least 50 percent of the viewing population used it in conversation within 24 hours.

Idea for use: After a Super Bowl game, during which you were at odds with friends.

8. "Make it work," Tim Gunn, Project Runway

Runway mentor Gunn usually doesn't totally shoot down someone's clothing designs. But he does offer advice, then tell contestants to "make it work." If you see a story about Runway that doesn't include this term, we'll pay you $5. *Not really.

Idea for use: Your boss gives you an impossible amount of work to do in 40 hours time. "Don't worry," you snarl. "I'll make it work."

7. "Well, isn't that special?," Dana Carvey as The Church Lady, Saturday Night Live

Whether or not you said this with a crooked mouth like The Church Lady, chances are you sarcastically uttered it many times during the 1980s.

Idea for use: A friend buys the shoes you've been coveting and saving up for.

6. "The tribe has spoken," Jeff Probst, Survivor

It's the last thing ousted Survivor contestants hear before leaving the game -- and a final way to end any real-life vote.

Idea for use: Your daughter wants to watch Hannah Montana episodes for five hours straight. The rest of the family doesn't.

5. "You look mahvelous," Billy Crystal as Fernandeo Lamas, Saturday Night Live

It's hard to forget this hallmark SNL character, mostly because of his trademark catchphrase -- and the hilarious video that eventually accompanied it. "I've got to tell you something. And I don't say this to everyone. You. Look. Mahvelous," he said. "It's better to look good than to feel good." Word.

Idea for use: When your mom arrives for Mother's Day dinner.

4. "Yada, yada, yada," Marcy, Seinfeld

While this phrase was already popular, the "yada yada" episode became one of the most famous in the Seinfeld series. In the ep, George's girlfriend uses the term to gloss over important details of her day. Jerry doesn't see much problem with it, saying that she's succinct, "like dating USA Today." But it turns out she was leaving out things like possibly sleeping with an ex, and shoplifting.

Idea for use: "Hi honey. I went to the mall today, yada yada yada, then I came home."

3. "Whachu talking about, Willis?," Arnold Jackson, Diff'rent Strokes

It's been 24 years since this sitcom ended, but Arnold's trademark statement still lives on. Not only do people still use it in conversation, I've seen teenage girls at the mall wearing t-shirts proclaiming "I'm What Willis Was Talking About," even though they were never alive during Diff'rent Stokes' days of glory.

Idea for use: Your husband wants to spend $4,000 on a Breitling watch.

2. "Heeeere's Johnny!," Ed McMahon, The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson

The standard announcement that announced Carson's stage entrance has been used in other TV shows, newspaper headlines, and perhaps most notably, in The Shining just after Jack Nicholson plunges off the deep end.

Idea for use: For guest arrivals. You can pretty much replace Johnny with any name, as long as you draw out "heeeere's."

1. "D'oh!," Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

Uttered by Homer almost every time he makes some kind of foible (read: all the time), this simple grunting sound has become so entrenched in popular culture that it made its way into the Merriam-Webster Dictionary in 1993, and into the New Oxford Dictionary of English in 1998. That's quite an accomplishment, especially for Homer, who has likely never used a dictionary.

Idea for use: Stubbing your toe, closing your hand in the door, spilling your beer.

Vampire Fetish: Bloodsuckers Are The New Bad Boy

Centuries-old legends about vampires largely paint them as super-scary killing machines that should be avoided at all costs.

But thanks to a few modern novels – which have been adapted into television shows (True Blood) and movies (Twilight) – vampires are quickly emerging as contemporary sex symbols. Forget the days when sought-after bad boys rode motorcycles, smoked cigarettes and had a couple of tattoos. Today's bad-ass, bloodsucking, boy toys can kill you on the spot – and even though you've got no chance of outrunning them, would you really want to? They are too intriguing to resist.

That's why I'm are counting down the days until I get to see Bill Compton -- the title vampire on True Blood -- again, when season two of the show begins on June 14.

Part of the thing that makes the modern-day vampire so tangible, if not loveable, is the way the legends and personas have been manipulated for the new millennium. The vampires are old souls with modern problems and ideals -- and I love the mixture.

So, I took a look at True Blood and Twilight in several categories, rating the right-now-ness of each on a scale of 1-10.

ASSIMILATION
The main vamps in each series, Bill Compton and Edward Cullen (Twilight), both make every attempt to live normal lives among humans without hurting them. However, each have their crosses to bear. In True Blood, the townspeople are aware that vampires exist, but they are met with extreme prejudice. In Twilight, Edward must hide his true self from everyone but his vampire family and girlfriend, Bella. Can you say stressful?
True Blood: 8
Twilight: 7

EATING
While Bill's hungry, he sips the synthetic drink, Tru Blood, so as not to feed on living creatures. The beverage invention seems so 2009. The Cullens, meanwhile, feed on animals in the forest instead of humans. It's great they don't kill humans, but this writer often likes animals better than people, so I'm not super impressed.
True Blood: 10
Twilight: 7

SLEEPING
Like most traditional vampires, Bill sleeps in a coffin during the daytime. Ho-hum. Edward however, doesn't require sleep. Ever. Can you imagine how much you could get done if you never got tired?
True Blood: 2
Twilight: 8

SEX
Twilight is geared toward young adults, and romance prevails over sex. Bella and Edward can scarcely make out before he pulls back to avoid his natural instinct to inhale her scent and suck her blood. Frankly, it's nice to see teenagers who aren't hopping in the sack first chance they get.
The vamps on True Blood, meanwhile, have insatiable libidos. Their graphic, lighting-speed sexual activity can be a little bit much, but at least they can have sex with humans. Let's face it: Complete, prolonged abstinence isn't easy for everyone ... and consensual sex is better than a pile of dead bodies.
True Blood: 7
Twilight: 9

TRAVEL
You'd think an unemployed being – alive or undead – would A) take public transportation; B) drive a jalopy; or C) just run everywhere, since they're gifted with the ability to move at lightning speeds. But Bill drives a black BMW, and Edward's got a shiny, silver Volvo. Even vampires want nice wheels.
True Blood: 8
Twilight: 8

BITING
In most stories, including Twilight, being bitten (but not killed) by a vampire means that you're doomed to the same immortal fate. But on True Blood, vampires can bite humans (during sex, for instance) and not be changed. Likewise, humans on the show take hits of vampire blood to get high. Creative and interesting.
True Blood: 10
Twilight: 2


CLOTHING
No cloaks with high collars here, like many vampires of olde. Bill's usually wearing button down shirts, jackets or long sleeved henley tees with pants. Edward adopts the vibe of his Pacific Northwest home, opting fo casual t-shirts and jeans to complement his messy, gelled-up hairdo. Fashionable? Meh. Inconspicuous? Totally.
True Blood: 8
Twilight: 7

GOING OUTSIDE
Bill's intolerance to daylight means that his skin melts off in a gruesome fashion. Scary! But when Edward is in the sunlight, his skin sparkles like a million diamonds. Bling!
True Blood: 4
Twilight: 10

LOVE
Despite the fact that vampires aren't human – something that Bill and Edward continually remind their partners about – both seem capable of true, unwavering, loyal love with their human girlfriends. Bill fell for telepathic, outspoken waitress Sookie Stackhouse, while Edward is smitten with Bella, a high-school student who is sometimes insecure about their relationship. Still, both relationships seem built to last despite the 100+ year age difference. We don't expect to see either couple on Divorce Court.
True Blood: 10
Twilight: 9

Dancing With The Stars: Best and Worst Costumes

There are lots of reasons that Dancing With The Stars has become such a huge hit with viewers, not the least of which, I suspect, are the costumes that dancers wear each week. I mean, it's hard look away when so much color, sequins and flesh are swirling about on the dance floor.

Granted, most of the costumes are gharish at best, but I can't deny the creativity that goes into outfitting the couples each week. So, to celebrate the halfway mark on the show, I compiled a list of the best and worst costumes worn thus far:

(See a photo gallery of costumes here.)


BEST:

1. Edyta Sliwinska channeled Halle Berry's 2002 Oscar dress with her gown on March 16, which was like a DWTS version of Berry's frock. Edyta's body looked flawless in the dress, which featured a sheer bodice with strategically placed flowers (sequined of course!), and a solid black bottom.

2. Shawn Johnson's rumba dress (April 14) featured light pink, drapey chiffon over a sequined bodice. Now, it's not the best dress we've ever seen. But she looked angelic in the color and it was more flattering on Shawn's thick, muscular frame than many of the previous, more revealing styles in which she's been outfitted.

3. Julianne Hough was sophisticated in a silver-grey floor-length gown with a high neck, gorgeous, modern shoulder straps and sexy open back on March 23. Short, matching gloves with ruffle-y trim funked it up a bit without looking out of place.

4. Despite its penchant for gaudy get-ups, DWTS still manages to make Lil' Kim look much more classy than she usually does in real life. She was a lovely, elegant lady in red on March 16 in a long, sequined gown, red satin gloves and rhinestone bracelets. An up-do with subtle hair decorations completed her transformation. A real upgrade from her pasties look.

5. On March 30, Cheryl Burke and Gilles Marini looked like they could be going to a New Year's Eve party. She wore a sexy, lacy purple dress that revealed just enough skin, and Gilles was slick in a pinstriped suit and complementary purple tie.

WORST:

1. You're not alone if you are still being haunted by the fringed, Pepto Bismol pink and Big Bird yellow bra and pants montrosity worn by Julianne Hough during the March 16 early episode. If you thought it was hideous when she was merely standing there, you should have seen it when she started twirling and the thing fanned out from every angle.

2. Melissa Rycroft got the short end of the stick on her first night when she was subjected to an aqua, silky skirt and sequined nightmare of a top that looked more like a fish-catching mechanism than a piece of clothing. The worst part? It's the same outfit she's wearing in the intro to the show, so we all have to relive the pain every, single week.

3. It's hard to screw up the chiseled beauty that is Gilles Marini. But leave it to DWTS to turn a piece of eye candy into an eyesore. On March 23, Marini was dressed in a raging red, boudoir-like shirt/pants/shoes combo with a smattering of sequins. Perfect for Hugh Hefner, not for Gilles. It was hard to look at him that night – and that's a hell of an achievement.

4. Lindy hop night (March 30) was an evening of fun, invigorating dancing, but the outfits were revolting. We honestly could have filled the whole "worst" category with Mark Ballas and Shawn Johnson's sequined "athletic gear," Julianne and Chuck Wicks' diner uniforms and other atrocities. But the worst was Lacey Schwimmer's turquoise, pink and black sequined shorts-jumpsuit. Besides being gaudy and hideous – fringed leg holes and big, black hearts on each butt cheek, anyone? – it rode up so much it bordered on being obscene. The purple, Crocs-meets-orthopedic shoes were the clincher, though.

5. Two April 14 ensembles tied for this slot. First, Edyta wore a hot pink sequined bra and shorts, adorned with a strip of useless chiffon. Dangling fringe and medallions added more gaudiness to the outfit, but it was the pink legwarmer thingies – which looked more like the fake boots you get in a packaged Halloween costume – that sealed its fate on this list.
However, on this same night, Julianne and Chuck wore see-through, lingerie-like, black, sequined lace outfits. The horror! Julianne even had thigh-high stockings to complete the Frederick's of Hollywood look.

What the hell is going on?

Does the world really need Hannah Montana deodorant? I saw some at the grocery store tonight.

Also, that Burger King mascot thing was creepy enough before I saw the commercial where he's rapping about Sponge Bob's square butt.

The world is a ridiculous place sometimes.

Basketball can suck it

Confession: I'm happy that the Lady Cards made it to the final tourney game and I hope they win. But overall, college basketball season is a synonym for "My husband works all the fucking time and I never see him."

Between the men's NCAA tournament and the ridiculous brouhaha over UK's new coach, Kyle has worked 20 out of the past 21 days. If I had a miserable relationship, I'd be happy I didn't have to see him. But I miss him a lot. And I resent basketball because I simply don't give two shits about any of it. But the worst part, as I said, is that he's had to work 20 of the past 21 days. And he's been taking care of me because I've had some health stuff going on that has rendered me pretty useless for the past couple of days.

The poor thing is so burned out right now. His next day off is Friday -- his birthday -- and I'm hoping he's not too tired to enjoy it.

Thank You, VH1

So, VH1 has been running these shows all week that feature the Top 100 One-Hit Wonders from the 1980s. Now, I have a shitload of 80s pop on my iPod -- so much that I thought I could never be missing any songs that used to give me such cheesy pop pleasure back in the day.

I was wrong! I found myself jotting down all kinds of tunes that I didn't have. How could I be missing "99 Luftballoons" by Nena? "Supersonic" by JJ Fad? "Tenderness" by General Public?

Anyway, then I started reminiscing and realized I was missing tons of other tunes, too. Like Joan Jett's "Bad Reputation," "Jack & Diane" by John Mellencamp. I had no Huey Lewis & the News tunes, only two by Duran Duran and no "Footloose?" Blasphemy! No 80s playlist is complete without such things.

I have totally been living in the past. But it's been nice, because my present has been super-suckfest for the past couple of days. Now, I'm heading back over to iTunes to grab a few more songs.