I hate orange Dots.

Dear Tootsie Company,

I love the Dots gumdrops that you are responsible for making. Love them. And according to the research I've done, you say that you create equal amounts of all five flavors.

I'd like to call bullshit on that. I cannot recall a time that I have purchased Dots at the movies, the grocery or at Target, where there has not been a disproportionate amount of red and orange Dots in comparison to the other colors. It makes my Dot eating much less pleasurable than if I were able to experience an explosion of fruity flavors mingling together in my mouth. Instead, I can always predict the taste that will be in my mouth: cherry and orange. Cherry and orange. Cherry and orange.

Every once in a GREAT while, I get a splash of delicious, chewy lemon or lime flavor. And that makes me sad, as the green and yellow Dots are my favorites. I don't really give a shit about the strawberry ones. They are a waste.

Recently, I purchased a bag of Halloween-sized boxes of Dots. So far, I have opened 13 of those boxes, and each contained 6 Dots. That's 78 Dots in all. And guess how many were green or yellow? Guess! 12. Not 12 of each color, either.

If you really made equal amounts of each color, I should have had 15.6 green ones and 15.6 yellow ones. So...

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY?

I had a really shitty day, and I haven't seen a green one in the last 4 boxes I opened. I hate orange Dots!

I'm not very good at math, but I'm certain I am better at it than the Chief Dot Counter at Tootsie. I'd be happy to take the job, if it becomes open.

Your immediate reply to this devastating situation would be appreciated. Orange Dots are almost as worthless as the strawberry ones.

Sincerely,
Maisy