My Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I have a request for you, and it won't even require you to make an appearance.

It's 7 a.m., and I've been up for two hours already. My mom is supposed to be flying here from Spokane, Wash., today, where they've gotten so much snow that the whole city shut down for three days. The garbage men didn't come because they couldn't get down streets. The city offices were closed. The malls closed at noon -- less than a week before Christmas!

Now, that often happens in Louisville when we get a dusting of the white stuff. But you have to understand how much fucking snow has to fall in Spokane before something like that happens. It's unheard of. I mean, it'd by like you canceling your Christmas flights!

When I lived in Spokane, I used to keep a shovel and cat litter in the trunk of my car, in case I had to dig myself out of a parking spot, or needed some extra traction on ice. Lots of snow is totally normal there. We all owned snow boots made for temperatures of -30 degrees.

Well, Santa, it snowed there again overnight, and my mom is supposed to fly out this morning. Even though we talk on the phone every day, I haven't seen her in more than a year, and am really looking forward to her Christmas visit. That's all I want this year, is for her to have a safe trip.

Plus, she's disabled, so traveling for her is a total suck-fest. Can you please squeeze in a last-minute request and see that things go smoothly for her?

And if her flight is canceled, can you maybe send Rudolph and the crew to go get her? Knowing her, I'm sure her suitcase is really huge, but it can't be any heavier than your sack of toys for the world's children.

Just so you know, I've been pretty good this year. (Except when I drank too much at a wedding, and ended up falling down in the parking lot at Brendan's, but nobody was hurt in that incident. Oh, and I said 'fuck' earlier in this letter, but that's just the way I talk. I am an adult, you know.)

All my love,
Maisy