8 Things That Take More Time Than Eating Dinner

Every time I feed the dogs, you'd think it was the first meal they have ever received.

Lucy furiously licks her lips as though they are coated with chicken breasts. Archie turns millions of clockwise circles until the food lands in his bowl. And then they both inhale it like they are in a race for The World's Biggest Ribeye Steak.

Here are ten things that last longer than Draper Canine Dinner Time:

1. Typing this sentence.

2. Putting on a pair of earrings.

3. Unlocking a car door.

4. My attention span during a televised baseball game.

5. A 14-year-old boy having sex.

6. Kyle switching back and forth between three football games.

7. Me deciding to buy something with Hello Kitty on it.

8. The amount of time it would take me to quit my job were I ever to win the lottery.