Celebrity Circus

Today, I have nothing to say, unless you'd like to know that I'm watching "Celebrity Circus." Christopher Knight is doing aerial flips while attached to some kind of bungee cord thingie that's hanging from the ceiling. The Black Eyed Peas' "Let's Get It Started" is the soundtrack for this daring feat.

Can you believe after flipping through hundreds of TV stations that this is what I chose to watch? I need to join Netflix ASAP. Or read a book. Summer television is the worst.

Joey Fatone is the host for this craptacular festival of bizarre stunts performed by semi-celebs.

Stacey Dash is up next on the Spanish web -- where a person does tricks using a giant rope. Holy shit! She just said she was 41 years old. She looks about 25. Her musical backdrop is "Bad to the Bone."

There's a crazy, flaming gay judge with a lisp who loves her. He just got up and did a back handspring and a couple of pelvic thrusts to show his appreciation after the other judges seemed indifferent to her performance. "You done gone worked my nerves, guys," he said, before giving her a perfect 10.

My best friend just called from home, so I may not get to watch the rest of this spectacle in detail.

Wee Man just dangled from the ceiling and gyrated with a couple of chicks in tune to "Everybody Wants You."

Rachel Hunter is doing the highwire act. She looks scared shitless and she's shaking. Can't blame her.

OK, Wendy is much more interesting than this show. I'm signing off.